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Kicking the Smoking Habit:
Anyone who has quit
smoking can tell you that the task is rarely accomplished on the
first try. As with any learning experience, skill improves with
practice. Each time you attempt to quit you carry forward what you
learned about yourself and your habit the last time you engaged in
the exercise. I have heard many people say, “There’s no point in
trying! I’ve tried to quit and failed so why go through that again?”
Why NOT try again. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!!
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Make use of past learning. Make a list of
things that helped and what didn’t work.
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Note your worst trigger-times and plan to
be engaged with activities that keep your hands and your brain
busy.
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Talk to your physician about therapeutic
interventions such as the nicotine patch.
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Seek support and encouragement from others,
especially those who have been successful at quitting. These folks
truly understand what you are going through.
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Plan both short- term and, more
substantial, long- term rewards for gains made.
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Commit money saved for something
outrageously self-indulgent.
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Be patient with yourself. Don’t beat
yourself up if you experience a slip. Get back on track and focus
on the learning that has taken place. Give yourself a pat on the
back for understanding that, like all of us, you are a mere mortal
who has much to learn and is not afraid to keep on trying.
Good Luck!!
Alcohol & Sleep: Not Good Bedfellows!
A drink before bedtime
may make you sleepy but, in fact, has many drawbacks. That relaxing
nightcap disrupts your normal sleep patterns, affecting REM and
short wave sleep so essential to the restoration and rebuilding of
the mind and the body. Alcohol makes occasional insomnia worse and
increases the symptoms of sleep deprivation.
When heavy or dependent
drinkers stop using alcohol, they expect their sleep problems to
quickly improve. Such is often not the case. Former alcohol users
have difficulty falling asleep but usually find staying asleep less
problematic. This pattern can last for months once drinking has
stopped. While no definite answer is yet available to explain this
phenomena, it is believed that alcohol abuse alters brain chemistry
thus affecting sleep patterns for some time to come.
So what to do?
If you’re a social drinker, forgo that late evening drink. Soon
you’ll be getting the proper rest to restore body and spirit. If you
are a former heavy drinker who has modified alcohol intake or cut it
out of your life entirely but you still can’t sleep, be patient
and apply the principles of good sleep hygiene.
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Establish a sleep routine and
stick to it. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day –
yes, even weekends.
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Sleep in a quiet, dark and cool
room.
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Try a glass of milk, a warm
bath and soothing music before turning out the light.
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Forgo naps during the day
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Stop drinking caffeinated
beverages by three p.m.
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Don’t panic. If sleep eludes
you, get up and stretch your legs. Take some deep breaths and
relax in a comfortable chair for a few minutes.
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Try visualizing a picturesque
landscape. Imagine yourself resting there, serenely listening to a
waterfall, enveloped in warmth and comfort. When sleep is
difficult, transport yourself mentally to this special place and
just relax and enjoy it without trying to force sleep.
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Whatever you do, don’t resort
to a chemical fix-it like alcohol or sleeping pills. Falling
asleep quickly and giving up restful sleep in the bargain is too
steep a price to pay. The situation will improve in time.
Enabling : Toward a
Better Understanding of When Helping Hurts
The term ”enable” means
to knowingly behave in a manner that makes it possible for a
substance abuser to continue using chemicals without having to pay
the natural consequences that result from addictive behaviours.
Anyone with whom the addict has contact can act in an enabling
manner. One’s spouse or partner, children, friends, siblings, work
colleagues, parents and neighbours all play an enabling role when
they seek to shield or protect the substance user from the normal
repercussions of his or her behaviour. For example, when individuals
cover up for the addict, lie to employers, friends and relatives,
provide transportation when a license has been revoked, struggle to
maintain a facade that everything in the family is fine and
generally, in their desire to help, make it too easy for the abuser
to avoid taking responsibility for the consequences of addiction or
dependence, we can say that “enabling” is taking place.
Those in relationship
with an addicted individual often benefit from assistance and
support in evaluating which specific behaviours are, in fact,
promoting the continuation of the addiction. It’s also important to
remember that there are no pat answers that apply in every case.
Unique individuals require distinctive solutions.
We don’t need to throw
the baby out with the bath water. You can continue to support the
substance abusing individual but not his or her behaviour. That
requires that you do everything in your power to stop protecting
your loved one from the ramifications of his or her behaviour. He or
she must face the music. Taking personal responsibility for the
consequences of one’s behaviour and choices is a necessary first
step in embracing the need for change.
Like many difficult, but
nevertheless, mature decisions we make in life, modifying our
enabling behaviours can be stressful and upsetting for us. It’s
important to recognize our own needs and to get the support and
assistance we require to help us make good choices with less
emotional pain and difficulty.
Change & The Older Substance Abuser:
Conventional wisdom has
consistently held that working with older substance- abusers in a
treatment setting is a difficult job because they are set in their
ways and resistant to change. Perhaps part of the problem has been
the treatment offered. Older adults come to a change agenda with
vastly different life issues than their younger treatment peers.
They have different health and social needs, are more easily
affected negatively by confrontational treatment styles, and are
frequently reluctant to accept a “disease” diagnosis and the stigma
of the label, addict or alcoholic. In other words, they are unique
individuals with a unique set of personal circumstances, beliefs and behaviours.
Recent research has
suggested that older alcohol abusers do very well when treatment
opportunities are tailored to their specific needs. They are more
likely to complete a self-selected program of personal change,
comply with a medication regimen that is treatment -related, abstain
from alcohol if that is their goal and experience fewer relapses to
old patterns of behaviour than younger adults.
Why should it be
surprising that when the needs of older
adults are actually met, they handle personal decisions to change
with maturity and success?
The Power of Gratitude
Regardless of where you
are in your change agenda, the importance of ‘Gratitude’ in your
life cannot be overstated. You may be rolling your eyes at the
notion that you have anything to feel grateful about if you or a
loved one is battling substance abuse. All too easily we get weighed
down with the stresses and challenges of daily life. We end up
feeling entirely victimized by people and circumstances. When we are
in that dark place, making changes seems totally beyond our
comprehension and abilities. We are overwhelmed with negativity and
hopelessness.
Now it may be that you
have a great deal going on in your life about which to feel
“negative”. The problem is, negativity goes hand in hand with
feeling like a victim. When we feel victimized, we look for someone
or something to blame. Blaming leads us to the conclusion that it is
“the other” who is causing all the problems, worry and despair in
our lives. The act of blaming has rarely been known to produce
positive changes or the taking of personal responsibility in anyone.
It’s important to remember that the only feelings, attitudes,
beliefs and behaviours that I have any power over are my own. I can
take meaningful steps today to make my life better regardless of
what others choose to do.
This is where Gratitude
comes in. Gratitude connects us to everything that is positive in
our lives. Positive energy seeks more of the same. No matter how
difficult your life is today, you have something(s) to be grateful
for. Focusing on the positive lifts us up from the pit of despair
and energizes us so we can continue to build on what is good and
worthwhile about our lives and about us as people.
No one is suggesting that
you deny the realities of your life and “pretend” that life is
wonderful. Acknowledging your difficulties and feeling your feelings
is extremely important to your mental health. What I am suggesting
is that by acknowledging what is positive and working in your life
puts you in a position to do more of the same. If you are actively
engaged in the process of living your own life to the best of your
abilities, it is difficult to feel helpless and victimized when
others fail to do the same in their own.
To help you focus on
gratitude, make a list of all that is worthwhile in your life. The
list can include people, things, attitudes, values, or behaviours
you are grateful for. Don’t worry about the length of the list. If
it seems incredibly short today, go back tomorrow and add something
else. Think about gratitude during the week and keep revisiting and
adding to your list. Remember, no detail is too insignificant for
inclusion. If it’s important to you, it’s important.
Try to make “gratitude” a
daily part of your life. You will be surprised at the results.
We hope you have found the
first issue of Perspective informative and personally helpful.
Comments and suggestions would be appreciated.
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